YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE

So we say that we love guns, diamonds, honor and titles, war movies-- All well and good. Nothing wrong with that, basically. But we do know that personal preferences reflect what or who we are in huge measure. This translates in the toothpaste we use, in our choice of houses - cars - clothes - recreation - places - food - friends - careers - games - religion - even in disputes or wars.

I have a good friend who believes in commitment --- and another who believes in the idea of giving back ‘an eye for an eye’. The first one comes out as a solid no-nonsense serious individual who makes good his word in every encounter or turn in life. The second is one vengeful ruthless unforgiving person who thinks and behaves with his defenses on, 24/7. The beliefs they have espoused in life does make them who they are --- good or bad.

People will see us as we project our thoughts. To them, accordingly we would appear as serious, flighty, nonsensical, frivolous, respectable, decent, perverted, tyrannical, irrational, prejudiced, good-for-nothing, straight, irresponsible, kindhearted, or wise. Our persona is the sum total of everything that goes into our heads, processed and lived. What we think or believe – is what we truly are.

On a matter, thinking and believing may be the same but not wholly the same. There's a small line which separates one from the other but they do live together as very close cousins. It's all up to you to know the difference.

So there's a wee bit good or bad in the choices that we make or the thoughts that we espouse. The choice is ours where to take it. So then careful what you think, but be more careful what you believe. So what do you believe? Ask your heart.

FAILURE COULD MEAN TAKE ANOTHER ROAD

Yes, I know I’ve dealt with this subject or something similar to this in previous posts. It may be boring to you now, I guess. But wait! There’s so much more to learn about it. In fact, it’s the ‘negative issues’ which grip us tighter than the Pollyanna experiences of our lives. Why? Because anything that hurts us -- gets us. It may be a prick, a painful nudge, or something so big that you never know what hit you till you see your ‘heart bashed into pieces’. That’s a figure of speech, of course. Lolz But in anyway it comes to us --- it always hurts.

And nothing hits us so hard and so bad as failure. What’s failure? --- A disappointment, a letdown, a collapse, a breakdown. In short, it’s when something goes NOT by way of your expectations despite everything you’ve put into it. So then you think that you have failed and that the world stopped turning at this very point in your life. Hold it a minute there! Do you mean to say that this gigantic size of a world with zillions of people in it would all cease, halt, disappear, close down, and die just because you didn’t make it? Wow, where’d you get that?!

How about looking at it this way? Those things that come to you, those are not there just to decorate your tiny space. And it didn’t just appear out of nowhere. They come from something and will end somewhere. What goes in between is the process or journey of getting from here to there. Failure is part of that process. Since we know that nothing goes well 100% all of the time, then eventually something will go wrong and we will consequently not get what we want or plan for. Having understood that, what then do you do with failure?

Firstly, if nothing else works and you have tried everything there is to try in your book of human survival – then tap into your spiritual source. Yes, spiritual source. Because above all this stuff we’re going through is a God who runs this whole thing or manages this whole store called life. And you know what-- He’s like a traffic cop at the intersection managing the flow of human and vehicle traffic. He signals you when it’s okay to pass or not. He motions to you when you should take another lane when the other lanes are stuck. When you are stuck in failure, take heed the signs when God is motioning you to get off that lane and try another. Be wise and take heed, otherwise you will --crash! FAILURE IS ANOTHER WAY GOD IS TELLING US TO TAKE ANOTHER ROAD.

BUILD YOUR DREAM BIT BY BIT - DAY BY DAY

I know what it’s like at times when you feel that nothing seems to work or happen, that everything you’ve done feels like all going down the drain. I know what impatience is like. It’s like tying your shoe lace but your fingers won’t cooperate…like it has a life of its own. That feeling can be so frustrating when pursuing a dream. Feeling that way restricts your vision to seeing potential and curbs it down to feeling ‘I’ve lost it’. Wearisome thought. How it can gnaw at our reserves of courage, strength, determination, energy. It eats it all up wholesale.

In many instances in life, we often find ourselves stuck in a situation like that. The first thing that comes to mind is to hide in your room, sit on the bed, and stare down at your feet - Nope, no clues to be found there whatsoever. I guess a dejected person always looks down, hangs down his head or bows down – a message of complete surrender to whatever it is that confronts him and has won over him.

We have our dreams big and small cuddled close in our hearts. All we want and hope for is to do something great for ourselves or for the people we love. Just like a hopeful and excited fresh graduate who would head off to the big city to try his luck there. But the big city, as often it does, can be like an ugly ogre who can and will rip up weak hearts to pieces dashing dreams to the ground.

Then eventually we lose the will to fight as courage drains out of us like a broken faucet its water running wildly out. Sure enough the next thing that we do is we take down our bags, pack our things, and take the first plane home -- Defeated.

But wait and listen.

This is just one day of the many more days you will be having in your journey towards your goal. So do what you must do-- today. Whatever it is, big or small, do it and when you’re through at the end of this day, rest!. When the morning comes, you will do it again. And in every day that follows it – over and over and over till your eyes drop.

A carpenter hammers at a nail several times with sure firm strokes before the nail finally sinks into the wood, right? That’s how you follow a dream – you doggedly follow it one day at a time for many days, weeks, months, or years until you finally get there. See yourself as bubbling waters running through both calm and rugged terrain and river beds stopping for no one or nothing – just rolling along happily until it gets home to the sea.

Time isn’t the main thing here; it is your effort that goes into building your dream which counts. Work at it with sure deliberate steps one piece at a time, one step at a time --day by day. Just hammer at it with everything you’ve got and take it one day to the next. You’ll get there maybe even sooner than you think. Oh by the way, trust God too cause He’s right there hammering with you. ’

"You will achieve a grand dream, a day at a time, so set goals for each day -- not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal -- to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished." -- (Og Mandino)

LIVE LIFE AS A PRECIOUS GIFT

You see that? It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Yet how often do we selfishly hold time as our ‘personal property’-- like it’s there to exclusively serve our personal pursuits. And that nobody or nothing is ever allowed to encroach or infringe upon it. We use our brains to think ways on how to spend our time wisely—putting in hours for appointments, meetings, clients, pursuing advance studies, seminars, travel, making calls, even playing golf. I won’t argue that those things are important. But look again – what’s missing there?

Think about this.

Has your little girl come to you in your study den asking you to help her with her homework but you brushed her off saying you’re busy?

Or when your 4-year-old came to you crying pulling at your skirt, while you were on the phone chatting with your girlfriend, because he lost his marbles?

Or when you called your wife to tell her that you’ll be late for dinner because of a deadline on your anniversary night?

Or when you replied to your Mom on the phone that you have a plane to catch and can’t talk?

Or when your officemate comes to your office cubicle visibly distraught and meant to talk with you but you rushed off to the meeting?

Or when a lady dropped her packages on the street but you didn’t stop because you were late for your train?

Or when you promised to drop off your sister’s letter at the post but didn’t because you were catching up on lunch with your buddies?

There’s more, so much more. We are actually not time managers, but time hoarders. We hoard time like it was going to run out on us, like there was never going to be enough of it. C’mon, can’t you see that God spread out time in hours, days, weeks, months, years? All our life we got time but we’re using it in the wrong way. Do you notice that the balance tips over to ‘time for self’ – and not time for others? Aren’t we leaving out the most important things in our life – our loved ones and relationships?

You know something, time will always be there, but the people you love and treasure won’t. Life is short—theirs and yours. Give of your time to those you love and who love you. Time, like love, isn't meant to be hoarded but given away for others' good. If you want to create precious moments to keep and look back to in your declining years-- give your time today. Believe me, it's the most precious gift you can give to others and-- yourself. Whatever you wholeheartedly give away----- comes back to you a blessed hundredfold. God bless you all. :-)


(Above photograph courtesy of my daughter Malen)

FAILURE ISN'T ABOUT FAILING -- BUT LEARNING

Online chats for the past year have given me huge opportunities to meet with good decent people of different races and culture, of varying ages, male and female. While a good number have moved on to other things life has called them to do, a few have remained in the friendships created by it and which we then shared then and now. Apart from the adults, the younger folks (which are many) have begun to call me ‘cyber mom’ – something which they seemed to like anyhow (me, too). lolz From then on, they began confiding with me their family troubles, girlfriend or boyfriend troubles, new struggles in new jobs, anxieties in college work, etc. But their most common ‘concern’ was about --- failing or failure.

Come to think of it, nobody really is prepared to fail. We’re prepared to succeed, that’s easy. Succeeding is the goal. But ‘failing’ -- this isn’t taught in school, maybe hinted at but not really. Our homes may tell us bits-and-pieces about it but never how to cope with it when it does occur. It is often presumed that we would be able to cope when that 'time' comes. Yet no matter how much one may know about ‘failure’ and how it affects us or what it does to us, we still find ourselves lost – bewildered – confused – insecure - bitter – angry – baffled – irritated.... and to extreme, ruined.

I too had my share of failures just like everybody else. In a few of them I was successful in dealing with it, but in most I was simply floored by it all. It was as if my whole world crumbled and tumbled down or collapsed on me. There was nothing I could hang on to and everybody seemed to have gone on invisible mode so suddenly. So there I stood alone in my misery, wallowed in self-pity, banged my head against the wall, and ultimately ended up blaming myself for everything.

So having gone through it all and survived (I believe….lolz), I think that I’ve plucked out pearls of wisdom from that experience which I'd like to share with my young friends or with anyone who would care to listen. To help me put them together in intelligible terms, do allow me to quote from these very apt words penned by an anonymous successful somebody. God bless such beautiful soul.

This is what it says. (Italized words are mine)

Failure doesn’t mean you won’t succeed; It means that you haven’t succeeded YET. Failure doesn’t mean that you haven’t accomplished anything; It means that you have LEARNED something. Failure doesn’t mean you’re ignorant; It means that you are KNOWLEDGEABLE ENOUGH to learn through various means. Failure doesn’t mean you don’t have the power to succeed; It means that you haven’t FULLY TAPPED the power. Failure doesn’t mean you’re not the best; But it does mean that you BECOME BETTER and better. Failure doesn’t mean you’ll never make it; It means you need some MORE TIME to achieve it. Failure doesn’t mean you have to give up; But it does mean that you must TRY HARDER.

So there you have it. I do hope that in some way possible these words would help you understand that failure isn’t really all about failing, but rather it’s more about --- learning.

One more thing before I end up here, failure may take you to the bottom of the pit, figuratively speaking, and this undeniably indisputably would affect your faith. Here’s something that you should also know, to quote:

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith -- is knowing that one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on –-or --You will be taught to fly” -Patrick Overton

Joy to your day, everyone! May God pour down His bountiful blessings upon you and your family -- and may He grant you His strength to face your trials in life and come out with greater wisdom. :-)

STRAIGHT THROUGH THE FIRE

Yesterday, I overheard bits from the conversation of my daughter and her friends out on the lanai not so far from me and my book. The gist of their chatter filtered through to where I was and inevitably caught my attention that I turned my ‘radar’ on to them. Oh, mothers do turn-on the radar on their kids (young and old) occasionally – not to spy on them but to seek out ‘potential seeds of concern’ they may not be aware of themselves. My radar was picking up just that. So I had my ears peeled on them while pretending to read my book.

Friend #1:
“Can you believe this?!! Here I am in the midst of a difficult thesis due Monday and struggling through the finals, and here Dad wants me to set up a sales and product presentation for this client on Friday?!! Gimme a break!” (Jake helps his dad with the family business).

Friend #2:
“This is the pits! I gave the boss my report and he tosses it back to me and tells me to do it all over! After all that grueling hard work and sleepless nights??!! Sh___!! I’m getting out of there, you’ll see!” (Sam is a computer nerd graduating top of his class a year ago.)

Friend #3:
“So you guys think you have it so bad huh?! Have you tried having no job and coping with an ailing parent on the side? I’m way up to here and don’t know if I can take anymore!!” (Sam is the eldest of four siblings and a widowed mother).


Oh yes! I just couldn’t sit back and simply watch them wrestle with those concerns-- shortsightedly. So reluctantly (because it was really a good book) I put my book aside, stood up, and went over to them. My daughter obviously knew what was coming LOL but I silenced her with one look (mothers are good at using this ‘look’ lol).

I began.

“I’ve overheard everything said here. You’re in my house and here you will stay for the next few minutes and listen to me. (And decent and respectable kids that they are, they obeyed. Phew! lol).

Rough, isn’t it? Difficulty, dilemma, predicament—we can pick out lots of terms in the dictionary which would mean the same thing-- ‘rough spots’. It comes to us in many different ways. And when it does happen, we turn scared–angry–frustrated–disappointed–depressed–annoyed–discouraged.

But you see, Life is not all fun and pleasure as it also hands out on the same platter a dish, one or several, of ‘rough spots’ that test our patience and endurance. Often we perceive them as blocking progress at work. And true to our nature, we react to that in a most predictable way – we rage and wail or stomp out of the room slamming the door behind us! Now where does that leave us? What does it do to the people around us? It does this-- it leaves us back to where we started and breaks the hearts of those who have unshakably stood by our side.

What to do? Go through the fire! There’s no other way to do it but to go through the fire. Like gold is tested through fire, so too must a person prove his mettle by taking on the tough challenges, working through it and come out in one piece— maybe shaken in some parts, but still shining through. The real triumph lies in becoming a much better person because of the whole process. Only by going through the fire does one see and learn his strengths and peel off layers uncovering his fullest potential. These things one can’t get in an easy and comfortable environment. Now, you all have it in you. All that you need to do is make it shine—through the fire-- and while you’re at it, quit complaining, will yah?!”

“Now is anybody up for an apple pie?”

As the kids stole glances at each other, Jake stood up, came to me, and with a warm bear hug said....

“Yeah, auntie, if we guys are going to the ‘furnace’, we might as well go on a full stomach!”

With that everybody howled, jumped up and hauled me into the kitchen. Apple pie here we come!!

STUBBORN OR WHAT?

Her stubborn streak freaks me out. She’s the fourth member of a small motley group of ladies who regularly meet for lunch to indulge in ‘girl talk’. Teenagers? 20-somethings? Far from it. We’re certified grown-ups living lives crazy as it can be and got married to men who turned out to be much crazier than we could ever be. Happy or not with that will make out another story. Mia-- she stands out stubborn as a mule. She wails and moans that she’s fat, so lonely now that the children are gone to living their own separate lives, and that everything about her is losing to gravity.

She a joke talking that way and she’s only just about 50?! while I’m almost down the other door of 60. If there’s anyone with a long list of complaints,that should be me. Consider these -- silver streaks sitting alongside vanishing dark tresses, wrinkles boldly inching their way to my face, super dry skin smothered with jars of moisturizers, reading glasses claiming the bridge of my nose for its permanent home, shadows comfortably settled around the eyes day and night, and yes I’m losing much to gravity. But this story is about our friend, Mia, and not me (phew!).

Anyway, we told Mia that she should do something -- not just mope and sulk. And that these things are within her power and control-- all she has to do is will herself to act on it. She countered with a ready litany of ‘her favorite things’-- she loves pizza, cakes, pastries, ice cream, chocolate bars, Coke, and the television. Her favorite places are pastry shops and candy stores. Comfort zones, nothing we ever say or do could extricate her from that -- just one big stubborn streak that won’t budge— that’s Mia.

Finally on our last wit’s end, we took the argument to a different front – health. We piled on all the health scares we could think of about fat people and the health risks of sedentary lives. We harped on the issues of high cholesterol, triglycerides, heart ailments, diabetes, arthritis, Alzheimer’s disease, melancholia and chronic depression. One of us even went further to say that if she didn’t shape up —she might soon find her husband shipping out with somebody else. Well, it did seem to have done the trick because she wailed horrified ...much to our delight :-) ...at the thought that her man would do that to her. But that lasted only a day. Unfortunately! The next day when we returned to her house to pick up the ipod one of us left behind, we saw her back to her favorite things— ice cream, cake, and coke. She grinned sheepishly and said

“Ladies, life is too short to worry about philandering spouses and diseases.” There you go, that’s Mia, stubborn Mia— one of a kind, gosh! :-)

WINNERS ARE MADE - NOT BORN

“Winning is the result of having a winner’s mind and a winning positive ‘can-do’ attitude. Winning has everything to do with being in the right place at the right time as well as being ready to grab the opportunity and take the challenge to win. Winning takes determination and persistence. And as with most things in life, it takes practice to perfect, too.”

That’s lifted from an article in a magazine I was reading as my hair was being pampered, softened, and beautified by a wonderful affable beautician-friend. This was my quarterly visit to her shop and the package included a manicure and pedicure, too. Most women would do this monthly but monthly I can do by myself. The thing is coming here to the parlor is more therapeutic than simply punching holes in my wallet. I live my cares and woes outside the parlor door and simply bask in superb pampering and pleasure. Temporary, still it’s a good option for a mini-vacation other than a big expensive trip to Boracay.

My beautician-friend as she works on my hair chirps away on the latest Hollywood juicy bit in her sing-song voice like Tweety, that lovable cartoon character. But I love this Tweety and I love my friend. I knew her since she first started in this business. It was nothing like this at all. Her first shop then was small and spare. She had only one person, a cousin, who helped her with her small base of regular customers. Some days I would catch her staring out the window with thoughts lost somewhere. I knew the bills were piling up and the challenges grew bigger as life became difficult. But this petite lady had spunk; she knew what she wanted. A year ago, she held an office job, saved a portion of her pay each month, and against the advice of family and friends left it. Thus began her journey to a dream-- her own shop. She took out a loan and added it to her small fund. With determination, perseverance, and sensible money-management, she bit-by-bit put together what she now proudly calls her ‘Beauty Haven’.

My friend came out a winner. That’s the stuff winners are made of. Winners don’t sit around sulking or moping. Neither do they fear failure or think ‘I can’t do it’, or that ‘It’s impossible’. Winners try to make it happen and keep on trying until it does happen! Even when the odds seem huge and insurmountable, nothing will faze a winner permanently. My friend didn’t buckle down under that load. Yet it’s okay, too, to stop, sit, think-- looking out the window like my friend did. One will need to do that too – recharge, energize. But going back into the fight one should with renewed strength, courage, and determination. There is no easy way to do it but through the struggle. Sleepless nights, furrowed brows, ulcer pangs, time-problems, people-problems, dearth of resources— those are but a few of the challenges down that road. My friend knew yet doggedly pursued her dream working her skills to perfection with every trial and test. She made her dream happen! She’s a winner and a happy one. You see, winners are made not born. Don’t we all love success stories!

WHEELCHAIR OF A DIFFERENT KIND

Up at 6:30AM this morning and this word greeted me like a huge post-it! Who put it there --I don’t know. One thing I do know is that when you get into this writing addiction, everything becomes subject for expression. Like some dam’s gate blown wide open and all that stored water gushing out with a vengeance lapping up everything that gets in its way.

So here I am churning up the word ‘wheelchair’ in my brain.

The house is still quiet this early or late depending on one’s body clock. I hear no one stirring in the kitchen yet or in the other bedrooms. Well, can’t blame them in this kind of gray weather -- often it’s translated into an extended curl-up under warm sheets in bed. So I’m sitting on my bed with back leaning to the wall, legs folded with knees reaching up my chest, and a blue-covered notebook resting on my knees while my right hand holds a freshly sharpened pencil. It didn’t really need sharpening—but I love sharp- not blunt - pencils!


But before even settling down to writing, I tear myself out of that position to head for the kitchen – turn on the coffee maker, sidle up to the dining table for some bread to toast and walk up to the window to check out the skies. Ah yes, we’ll be having these rains all day no doubt. With resignation, I march back to my bed......


with my legs-- ah the freedom of legs! Free to go wherever I choose—unrestricted-- which a person strapped to his wheelchair can’t. He can’t enjoy the thrill of chasing after a bus for a ride. Nor driving a car in monstrous traffic. Nor running up to his mother for a warm kiss and hug. Nor feel his tired feet after scouring through the stores in the mall looking for the perfect birthday gift.


Oh no— my thoughts aren’t going there. It’s taking me in another direction. It’s taking me to a wheelchair of a different kind-- more compelling, pitiful and pathetic, harbinger of misery and doom.


It’s not just one, it’s several. Take a look at this….


- prejudice/bias; ignorance/illiteracy; envy/jealousy; dishonesty/lies; addiction/perversion; hatred; fear; pride; greed/tyranny; insensitivity; hypocrisy/duplicity


Are these familiar? Of course it is. There’s more around us, maybe given different names--but real. It breaks up homes, families and relationships, causes wars and divisions, it harms – kills – destroys, is restricting and demeaning, and so much more.


I’m not proposing a cure to those ills. Somebody else out there is better at the task. I’m just writing about a different kind of wheelchair. One that is more debilitating than the physical incapacity of the handicapped. But do people know this? Or maybe not because they may be so entrenched in the comfort zones created by it and can't see what it's doing to one's self, to other people, or to the world at large. So then the world continues to have disputes, have little compassion or none at all, lose its freedoms, and experience disintegrating peace.


We all have our 'wheelchairs' --- your best friend's, your boss's, yours, governments, countries. But what matters is --- what do we do about it?

YES WE CAN BE GREAT TOO

A man isn’t if he doesn’t have at least one burning desire dream or ambition in his heart. Without which you simply exist and not live as you should.

I have a dream, it’s a tiny one kept here in my heart. It’s been there for many years and maybe many more I don’t know. But what I do know is that this tiny spark within keeps me focused on one bright hope that someday I may yet have that dream come true. So my everyday becomes a trek towards it. But there are no illusions set on that journey because I know very well that it’s not a smooth paved road I’ll be traveling on. I’ve been told that all roads leading to one’s dream is always beset with stones, gravel, steep hills, thick bush, and strange creatures lurking on the side. Of course you know that I’m referring to the difficulties and hurdles one usually come across on that road less traveled. But that’s okay; I will take it one stone, one hill, one bush, and one strange creature at a time. It may hurt me some and may even be coming out of it much battered and bruised but… as long as I keep my feet standing above ground and not buckling under, I promise that I will be slugging my way through and up. Time? Oh I don’t know for how long but even if it would take all of my life working towards a dream, you will still find me there throwing my best punches. :-)

You see, life is primed for making things tough for us. Primed but we know for a definite reason and we’ve taken this up in earlier blog posts. But if we learned our lessons well and take the bull by its horn, tough times certainly can’t hurt us. We remove its capacity to hurt us by taking charge of our life instead of meekly following behind hanging on to its tail.

There are many I see around me doing the good fight. They trudge on in many diverse roads and in creative ways that would shame a lazy bum simply content watching on the sidelines. And if that wasn’t enough, these unproductive souls would taunt or belittle the efforts put in by those who strive and struggle for their dreams.

I’ll put my foot down on that one. Don’t let those types block you from taking that road and making good progress. But remember too not to fall into the trap of reacting to them on that same turf they’re operating on – negativity. Better yet stay clear out of their way; leave them where they want to stay and where they belong in their own dark realm of unenlightened understanding of life’s rules and laws -- one of which is that ‘in life you move with the flow of the universe… or be left sorely behind’. And if you have the mind for it, use their negativity to fuel your fire or drive to push you farther and faster towards your goal. Because sometimes it works that way – a slight irritation can push you out of there quicker in a way working to your good advantage.

And to those you make it through to its successful end… great job, great YOU!

“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.” ----- Mark Twain

EVERY TOMORROW HAS TWO HANDLES

"Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith." -Henry Ward Beecher

So which one did you turn on or would turn on for your tomorrows?

I’ll tell you this… many choose the first one rather than the second. Why? --Because it is closer to one’s nature --- worrying. Anxiety is defined by Mr. Webster as worry, fear, nervousness, apprehension, fretfulness, unease, angst. That’s you and me and others more. Quite a normal human thing, as most would say. No big deal.

But what does worry or ANXIETY exactly give you?

Just about EVERYTHING YOU DON’T NEED for a healthy confident peaceful happy existence. I know that will ring a bell or two (perhaps a dozen more) for you as it does for me too.

Certainly you’ve been through anxiety repeatedly throughout the years and which undoubtedly ate up a big chunk of your life; but you now realize that it has served you no good purpose at all. Not one bit. It simply brought you to an unhappy and unhealthy state of mind body and soul. And maybe there’ll even be more tomorrow. But there’s no need for me to go into the nitty-gritty process of explaining how. You have experienced it thus you know just what I mean.

That defines the handle of anxiety.

Let’s try the other one --- the handle of FAITH.

Do I see a faint smile on your face? It looks like you’re half there and half nowhere. Oh but I get it--it’s an old fashioned thing incongruous to our modern times, isn’t it? We believe facts, science, and technology – things which we could see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. This ‘faith’, what’s that?

Okay, let me tell you a little story.

My life has been one long tough journey and it’s not over yet. I guess it never is over until it is over. Now with every turn or corner down the bend I always thought that one sorry surprise would lurk behind it (I was that anxiety freak)– a sure-fire joy buster! That was enough to make me want to stay rooted where I was and not move forward even an inch and now --as a veteran of life’s bumpy roads and paths (oho! I got many years behind me), I know just what and how it’s like when you come face-to-face with an ugly upheaval monster or monsters. Yes, it crazily throws you off-course and coldly leaves you feeling quite shaken lost inadequate and defeated on the lonely wayside. Adding to the pain is that nobody stops to pick you up and stand you on your feet again. I wondered then just ‘where did the good people go?’

Not a pretty picture, I agree, but from out of that sorry state was born the ‘mustard seed of faith’ which I remember God requires from His children -- meaning you and me and the rest of the human race.

It’s not such a big thing asked of us. Fact is, it is simply a small sized measure of faith, belief, and trust – tiny as a mustard seed known to be the smallest seed in the world. Can you believe that? It sounds too simple, doesn’t it? --Because it is. But you won’t find it in your head. It resides in your heart and without fail will rise when called upon.

What will summon it to the fore? It is this -- that despite being in the midst of pain suffering and tears – and having done everything which you possibly could and lost --- you turn your gaze to God and with all the strength left in you and the faith you can muster up, you say to Him…..

‘Here, Lord, You take it; you can do a better job of it than I can.’

Then the miracle happens!

So then, which handle did you turn on or would turn on with your tomorrows? Your anxiety handle or your faith handle? The answer lies there in your heart.

WHAT'S FALLEN OFF YOUR BACKPACK?

(Daughter with pet dogs Lucky and Buddy)

Whenever my world spins too fast or too slow, one thing gets me on even keel again --- spending time with my dogs. Sometimes my world shrinks to the size of the puny ball Maxie and I play with. But when I see her chasing after it and coming back to me for another toss with a glimmer in her eyes, my heart melts. Same thing when Lucky and Buddy gaze up at me with tails wagging wildly, I weaken in my resolve to be sad. On this particular afternoon, the four of us packed ourselves on the weathered bench in the garage. It’s placed fronting the street and affords us our favorite pastime – watching people (mine) and animals (theirs) go by. With Lucky sitting on my lap and Buddy and Maxie filling up the space at the other end of the bench, it felt good just being there – all four of us. With such an idyllic moment you would think that I would let it ride without a single thought crossing my mind. The answer is ‘No’... and you know that by now I’m sure. It’s especially on moments like this that thoughts come traipsing their way into my mind. :-) Let’s see what we have this time.

Look behind you and see who or what has fallen off your backpack. ----- Somebody once said that “One day at a time, whether you go slow or fast, will still get you there.” So then perhaps there really is no point in the maddening race to get where you want to be -- Unless you are to die tomorrow. In which case good sense will tell you that you’ll be smarter to enjoy what you have today – in the here and now. A good friend’s son is rushing through his masters while holding on to his job because he has his eyes set on making it big at thirty-five. So he burns the night lamp studying and works at the grindstone during the day with meetings, projects, reports, and series of office events. It’s good no doubt. But in the mad rush to get there he failed to see that essential things have fallen off his backpack. These things he carried with him at the early start of his journey but these got tossed and shoved about in his pack that it fell off it by the wayside quite unnoticed.

Two things undoubtedly fell off his pack and – will fall off yours, too... if you’re not careful. The first things which become greatly affected by the harried race you take on towards your goal are family and relationships. They are the ones who you stand up or pass up for dinner, or forget to remember their special days and occasions, or push aside requests for your time and attention, or come home very late nights to, or gruffly shut your bedroom door to, or make promises to which you know you can’t even keep. They are the first to fall off your backpack -- the first ones to be hurt by you, intentionally or not. Secondly is -- you. I mean ‘you’ before you started out on this mad mad race. Tell me, where now is that person who had time to be with family and too enjoy good banter with buddies and friends? Where is that hero who used to sit next to a nephew or niece and together contemplate the mysteries of the universe? Where is that poet who would stand in awe and wonder at a gorgeous sunset or thrill at the signs of early spring? And where is that adoring son or daughter who would come home to Mom with a bouquet of roses on Mother’s Day or bring Dad his favorite beer on Father’s Day? Where is that person who held priorities were it should be – in one’s heart? Look behind you, my friend, because SOMETHING of you might have fallen off your backpack, too!

Wisdom from Baby’s Do-Day ----- When I saw the small child shake himself free from the father’s hand, I thought to myself “Oh...Oh... We got a problem here.” The kid wobbly on his tiny chubby legs wasn’t yet a walker, which I could see. Yet he was determined to set out on his own unaided. So he ambled zigzagging to nowhere as his father a bit surprised yet keenly watched close by. The little one now quite giddy and giggly by his tiny adventure upped his pace faster. That apparently was a mistake. He tripped himself and fell on his butt on the ground. I immediately shifted my gaze to the father, saw him quickly assess the situation but seeing that the child was unhurt coolly approached the kid. Funny thing is, the child on seeing his father coming near turned to face him and went on all fours crawling until he got close with nary a whimper or tear. When he got to where his dad was (who now stood still), he clutched hard on his dad's pants with tiny hands and pulled himself up until he was standing on his feet! Having done that, he looked up at his dad and smiled brightly. And if I may say so, he seemed quite pleased with his achievement. With a hearty laugh, the father scooped up his son and gave him a big kiss of approval and off they went back to their house. Sure enough the kid made it good on his own brand of spunk and guts. And his wise father was unlike most parents – he understood very well the need for his son to try out things on his own but safely. He wisely gave his son the room and space he needed to discover things by himself, to grow, and learn. Yet he made sure that he was close --to be there when his son needed him to be there. It worked beautifully all in the right places!


:-) Oh gee, there’s more to tell you but my tummy’s grumbling. I didn’t realize that it’s close to dinnertime already. We have it early here. The sun having now gone down the horizon behind the mountains has turned down the curtain on the day for me and my dogs. So then see you with more in the next ‘ish. Bye for now. God bless you!

GIVE KINDNESS - GIVE YOUR HEART

(Daughter with pet Maxie on the beach of Laiya)

If we wait for the perfect moment, the right timing, the worthy persons, or the highest peak of sympathy and compassion we will never get to do anything worthwhile. Big money is available only to a few lucky ones so we all know; popularity or influence sometimes is inherited through family prominence, so not everybody is afforded the opportunity or chance to do something special for a greater number of people on a grand or grander scale. Ordinary people and ordinary lives is what the world is mainly made of. But we all have the same hearts longing to make a contribution changing the world. So we try.. and thus some of us who can afford to try to make things happen by making out huge donations to a favorite charity, sponsor a gala event to highlight a good cause, finance a research project in a specific field such as medicine, education, environment, outer space, science, etc. Fantastic, isn’t it? Wish we could all be that and do all that but it isn’t quite so.

Instead we are this --- the husband and father rushing to work early in the morning, the wife and mother doing the endless chores around the home, and the children doing what children do. Then there’s the mailman delivering the mail, the power guy fixing power lines, the street sweeper, the plumber, the taxi driver, the salesgirl, and lots of others more. Look to our small neighborhoods and watch how life unfolds each day and you will see yourself mirrored in it. And how so alike we are in the busyness of our lives.

We can give from what we are, who we are, and from what we have where we are. There’s our laughter, our joys, our apple pies, a cup of sugar for the person next door, a helping hand when sought for, or maybe just a friendly smile and some kindness for someone who appears lost. Those don’t cost much…even easier to give. And believe it or not we have them in abundant supply from within ourselves. I remember what mom used to say to me and my kid brother .......

‘Anything of and from the heart is far more precious than a checkbook, you'll see.’ -- Yup, it’s all right here in the heart. So give!

"How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, start slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway... And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!" -- Anne Frank

MUSINGS AND A DISH OF PASTA

I just love any pasta dish-- the simple home cooked one or the fancy restaurant kind. No kidding! Mom could put together a mean mouth-watering pasta dish anytime. She would weave her magic in the kitchen especially on birthday parties for me and my younger brother in those kiddie days. I was a fast and messy pasta eater as a kid lolz getting all that sauce on my chubby cheeks even unto my long black hair and messed up my pretty birthday dress. Mom would simply smile and gently tell me to eat my pasta slow. Last night my daughter brought home – seafood pasta. It had in it shrimps, squid, spices, and a special sauce that was so tasty you feel it in your mouth! And the nice thing bout pasta is that you eat it slow to enjoy it. Slow enough to let your thoughts meander through the dish, too.

EAT YOUR PASTA SLOW. Yea, cause the taste is lost on you if you eat it fast. It’ll be like letting it go through the grinder. Ugh! You may be sated but did you enjoy it? Isn’t that what life is, too? Live it slow. Why the rush? Are you afraid that you’ll be running out of time or of people to love or loving you, of opportunities and promotion that could be lost, of diminishing health or wealth, or are you afraid that your youth is draining away at a fast clip? But isn’t that already happening? Tomorrow is today we dreamed about yesterday. Time flies unmindful of our cares and woes. It just moves along. Opportunities come and go, but this can be said of it – it came yesterday, today, and definitely there will be more of it tomorrow BUT it will only show itself to the willing and prepared eye. And too people come and go – they move on no matter how much we would rather have them stay here with us. People change – they grow, mature, develop. In the process sometimes they have to leave us behind. And so must we. There’s no holding back the years-- we grow old each day and our health changes along with it. Youth can’t be had forever. So why make a race out of it? You chase after time but time is always ahead of us -- it doesn’t wait for us. Never! Can’t you see? Anyway who’s counting? That’s all going to happen to you. It’s happening with each day that comes. But it does all that in its own space, time, and pace. Everything in our life has its own special time-- a time to be born, a time to love or cry or be lonely. Remember the book of Ecclesiastes? It’s the rhythm of life. Life is neither quick nor slow; it only appears so as you perceive it to be. An empty life sees the clock ticking at a slow drag. But a life which holds a potpourri of thrills and experiences and adventure sees the clock as a dear companion however it ticks the time fast or slow. Life is so precious – why not take the time to savor or relish it? So what’s the hurry? Enjoy your life. Enjoy your pasta! And remember to eat it slow.

PASTA AND THE MANY THINGS IN IT. Each time I twirl it round my fork I anticipate a good delicious bite when I finally take it up to my mouth. Because I know what goes into a good pasta dish-- bits of meat, mushroom, choice vegetables, red tomatoes, green pepper, cheese, and tasty sauce. Others would put in mussels, squid, sardines, bacon, ham, and some other ingredient to enhance the flavor. Some include olives and other spices unknown to me and which I think they should just leave out. Ugh! Still taken all together, the dish comes out delicious and a huge gastronomic delight, much to my utter surprise.

Isn’t that so much like life? Admit it, life would be just one blah-blah if there weren’t those itsy-bitsy bits of inconvenience, discomfort, hurdle, frustration, disappointment, and challenges splattered all over. But not only that --remember your moments of joy, happiness, thrills, adventure, and laughter? Ooops, do I see you grinning from ear to ear. So you remember. Lolz So many ingredients, just like a pasta dish, go into life, too. Each one lends to the overall flavor of our existence. The thing is we have to teach ourselves to appreciate the bigger picture of our lives. Believe me-- Mom had to rub that into my thick head and numb heart. I was reeling with all the darts of disappointments that came my way one after the other. And when the day came that she left me (the biggest sadness of my young life), I had to learn to fend for myself and hit my dumb head with the biggest hammer I could find! Ouch! Mom (bless her soul) made me see that our life is a huge beautiful colorful intriguing tapestry that often we don’t see because we are only focused on looking at the small square of our life before our eyes. But if you look hard at that tapestry with an open mind and an expectant heart, you will see that it’s not as bad as you think it is. In fact, you might even be surprised that you have more blessings that you ever care to admit or counted or didn’t bother to see. And just like a new pasta dish in which a lot goes in that you are quite unfamiliar with, but when you finally get your first bite -- you will find out much to your absolute surprise that it’s one gorgeous scrumptious delectable and perfect meal! And life is. Bite into life with good cheer, hope, and trust in the skill of the GREAT CHEF who knows how to put together a good pasta dish called life. Enjoy it!

Now do you know why I love pasta? It reminds me of Mom and one of the great lessons of life that I have learned --- take life slow, savor it! May God help you see the many lovely threads of your life tapestry. God bless you all.

MUNDANE IMPERFECT AND YET AWESOME

Life isn’t what it used to be blurted out my aunt Amanda. Jobs are scarce, and so is money. All we get are troubles—in our families, communities, and country. Even the world is plagued with a myriad of problems-- what‘s the world turning out to be, she wails! Even God seems invisible she complains.

I walked over to the window…...not out of disrespect— actually; she was really talking to herself or rather to the onion she was slicing to bits oblivious of my presence. Gosh, I hope that tirade doesn’t get on the dish she’s cooking for dinner tonight. Well, looking out the window didn’t show me the solutions to her world problems. But it appears to be a familiar way for many people who resort to gazing out to the far distance-- to free one’s mind of minute distractions that cloud the main issue at hand. There’s something about it that calms the mind or so it seems. The view outside my window was absolutely nothing new – the tall mango tree of my neighbor, occasional cars passing by, street cats scavenging the garbage cans, a person here and there heading for the corner store for some stuff, and my dear old tall Indian tree its topmost swaying to the wind – and which leaves I can touch with my fingertips. It’s standing so close to my window.

I think it’s an astonishing sight to behold and I get that stuff everyday here at this particular window--- ordinary mundane stuff and yet awesome to my mind. I may seem crazy to some or maybe silly but in those simple ordinary things I see the true significance of my own life. With my eyes, I saw how my good neighbor nurtured her mango tree from sapling to a mature fruit bearing tree it is now. How untiringly she watered and trimmed the plant day after day always amazed me. With my ears, I hear that same blue car driven by the doctor who lives at the far corner end of my block always passing by my house at this same time everyday. With my nose, I can tell that the street cats gorge on a fiesta of spoiled food in the garbage cans again. I can hear myself call out a delighted reply to my friend’s warm greeting on her way to the store for her regular bread buns for this morning’s breakfast. And as I stretch my hand out to touch the leaves of my Indian tree, I feel its life in the smoothness of its dark green leaves flowing on to mine. All this is my world – is part of me.

These things and more tell me I’m-- alive! With the wondrous gift of my senses I stay in touch with the world around me--- attuned to who I am in this arrangement of things in my own world. Of course it’s not a perfect one. If it were, there would be no need for plans and dreams. Have you ever thought about this --- that life’s imperfections create the right environment for growth, aspiration, development, exploration, expansion, advancement, improvement, progress— whatever else it may be called? You see these so-called ‘imperfections’ are the very ones which push us to be better or best— it moves us to seek our fullest potential… seek the brightest star in the firmament and make it our own. It makes us heroes bigger than life. It leads us to build dreams and bridges to other lands and people. I see imperfections bring the world together sharing the same goals and aspirations, hopes and dreams—perhaps seeking perfection, too, if minds are allowed to soar even farther.

So this is what I have – this is what I hold in my hands. No, I do not aspire to be the greatest in the universe but simply to be greatest in my own tiny world-- greatest in the sense that I can see the beauty of my small life—in its ordinariness day after day. Great in the humble realization that I belong, rightfully belong, here where I am at in the present time and space of my existence -- great for the knowledge and understanding gained in recognizing this wonderful gift of life and gratefully bask in its eternally unconditional flow of blessings. I here now stand in great awe of such Magnificence. And I know that my life and I believe many others more -- mundane ordinary imperfect life --is made tremendously awesome by it-- Truly awesome!!

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT WAITING TOO

Think of the days you have lost to defeat. They are as dead as leaves on a plant. Snip them. The roots are alive awaiting the water from your hand that new growth will emerge……… for life must flow through you, not to you. --- (Jane Perry)


Life is --- waiting. From birth to the grave and everything in-between, it’s all about waiting. Mothers wait for 9 months before the baby can be born. They wait for the passing of the years for the baby to grow into an adult. We all go through the levels of school and at each point we wait with eagerness for the day of graduation. Then we go out to the world and apply for jobs. We sit at the reception and be one among many others waiting for the call to be interviewed. When we land jobs, we find ourselves waiting for contracts to be signed, clients to call, projects to materialize, and other nitty-gritty details at the workplace. At a restaurant, we wait to be served our orders. At the bus terminal, we wait for our bus to arrive. On a Monday, we wait for Friday to come. In the kitchen, we wait for water to boil for our coffee or the egg to cook. Farmers wait for the fields to grow. Fishermen wait for a big catch to their nets tossed over the waters. At the traffic intersection, we wait for the green light to drive safely on. At the hospital, we wait for the results of the medical tests to know about our illness or health. In college entrance exams, we wait for the release date of our scores. At the airport, we wait at the boarding lounge area for our scheduled plane. All these and more are familiar things that come to us in the course of our life. It’s just one waiting after another. It’s a lot harder when it involves huge concerns in our life – when a part or the whole of our future lies at stake.

It’s all about waiting for something or someone. What goes on inside of us while we wait? A lot covering the broad range of the (negative) emotional spectrum--- impatience, edginess, annoyance, anxiety, stress, fear, dread, trepidation, panic, doubt, uncertainty, anticipation, suspicion, worry, unease --- in short, frazzled nerves. Yup, you feel your insides knotted-up real tight. The good side of it is that it keeps you on your toes --- and the bad side, if you don’t get a good hold of it, is that you end up a nervous wreck. Naah! That’s not healthy for you and those around you. Your tension rubs off on them and hits them terribly and that’s the worse thing that could happen – having people messed up, too, just because you’re feeling that way.

Let’s try to understand what ‘waiting’ does for us. Nothing is ever ready-to-wear except clothes and instant gratification is found only in instant coffee and cola drinks. 'Instant' is almost always simply skin-deep -superficial. Life to be meaningful involves some amount of waiting. For how else can something grow and develop into its full potential unless it goes through a procedure or some process. You do know that to get from here to there is a space in-between called ‘journey’. This is where the best part of living happens –the journey towards a destination, a goal, an objective. The magic occurs here and not at the end. The gist of existence is when everything that matters comes into play to form something better if not the best, something good, satisfying, and fulfilling. You, in this journey, become privy to the magic of creation unfolding right before your eyes. At this point is where your whole being comes alive–- feeling, sensing, absorbing, learning and transforming. This is what ‘waiting’ brings out and is the reason for its being. This is where life happens when you hold it in your hands – it can become stale or it can breathe forth new life, new hopes, new dreams, new meaning. It all depends on you.

Waiting --- Big ‘waits’ or small ‘waits’, it can either be defeats or success whichever way you want it to become. Snip it off when it does nothing good to you. It could be akin to dead leaves on a branch. Otherwise, water it -- bring forth new life, growth, and new meaning. 'Life must flow through you, not to you.' Further, God surely knows what He's doing when He makes us wait.

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON A SUMMER DAY

Summer heat! If Midas had his touch that could turn anything he had his hands on into gold, wish that I had the touch to turn anything I lay my hands on into ICE! Summer just gets hotter every year this side of the globe. I’m surrounded by Hot! Hot! Hot! -- Walls, furniture, doorknobs, bed sheets, steel gate, even water coming out of the tap is HOT! Ugh! The mood is sluggish. Humans with deep creases on their sweaty brows drag their hot feet in sluggish tempo to the heat of the sun. Dogs sleep all day long hoping it would make the sun set quicker. The wind won’t even oblige with his usual howl but simply pokes at the tree tops not wanting to rouse the leaves in their stupor. Ah but such consideration is not appreciated this time, Mr. Wind. What’ll it take to make you mad this time??! C’mon, Mr. Wind, blow furious!!!! Or maybe I should hie off to the beach instead? :-)

Don’t let your college persona determine who you will become. This is something I’d like to say to a friend’s son who is so depressed because he can’t find a job – yet. He took up engineering and he feels that everything seems to be blocking him from becoming one. Let me quote this from something I read just recently. –-- “. …Unless you really loved who you were in college. It doesn’t matter if you were the nerd, the dumb jock, the bully or the wallflower. College is over and your new life is beginning. Now is the time for reinvention if you deem it necessary. Think Madonna—but maybe not her cone bra phase. If you were the wallflower, break out of your shell. If you were the bully, try to be nicer. The world is waiting -- try to be the best person you can be. Make good decisions. Remember, the decisions you make after college have real-life consequences.” --- Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean that you waste your education away. What I’m saying is --- you can’t let it determine you or your future. There is so much you can do, not just being what you studied for. That’s limiting you. Further quote –-- “The school you graduated from does not determine the quality of your future. There are still small-minded companies that only accept applicants from the supposed top universities but don’t let that stop you. Just because you came from one of the more popular schools doesn’t mean you can rest easy. And it doesn’t matter either if you came from a school that no one else has heard about. It is you, and not your diploma, that will make your future.” --- Unquote.

Don’t be afraid to make honest mistakes. So you think that the world will stop on its tracks because you bungled up? Or that your friends will think you stupid or a loser? Or that you will disappoint dozens of relatives and other people who think so highly of you and your talent? Excuse me, but I remember when I was burning over some mistakes, my mom simply said to me that --- the best lessons come wrapped in blunders, mistakes, failures, and errors. Because only then will you be able to smooth the rough edges of your character, hone your talents to perfection, and grow into the person you were meant to be in God’s blueprint of our lives. --- How then can I, or anyone for that matter, ever become this entire gorgeous package if not through the fire of disappointment, failure, and mistakes? But she too warned me that it was going to hurt. Oh okay, but isn’t the sun better and brighter after the rain? And don't rainbows come out after?

Be gentle to yourself. Don’t be quick to blame yourself when things go wrong in your life. Don’t bash yourself so hard believing that you did so badly and you deserve to be thrown into the fire…that you deserve to be devoured by the flames! Dump that attitude. I don’t buy that. If we fail in one area of our life --- we still have the rest to shine in! Besides it’s not all our fault; bad situations come, jerks cross our paths, and other people’s bad decisions affect ours. So why blame it all on ourselves? Does that make sense now? Be good to yourself – you’re much better than you give yourself credit for!

Friends keep you grounded. Sometimes you see better through their eyes, hear truth through their ears, and understand wisdom through their thoughts and insights (someone on the outside looking in) of your own concerns and dilemma. Friends are like a warm fireplace on a cold lonely night. Don’t forget them --- the old friends who have stood the test of time and the new ones which are giving you a fresh new perspective on life. They keep your feet standing firmly on solid ground. Let me tell you this, I function better bathed in their affection, loyalty, devotion, encouragement and inspiration. I can handle anything as long as I know my friends are by my side – not behind me, beside me, below or above me ---but one who walks with me by my side!

Learn to say ‘no’. “Ohhh… she’s a sweet gentle girl, so sweet and accommodating. I have yet to hear her say no to a request.” So says my high school teacher. Yup, that’s me… was, rather. It took me a good many years to learn to say ‘no’. It was always a ‘yes’ even if I had better things to do at home, even if my mom wanted me to run an urgent errand for her, even if I had a close deadline to meet, even if I had to review for a big exam, even if the request ran against my better judgment, even if I thought the request was wrong and in bad taste, even if I didn’t like the person because of his motives, or even if I didn’t want to do it at all.

You have to be true to yourself. You can’t always be Mr. or Ms. Nice Person with everybody a 100% of the time. Know your limits; in turn that should make them understand theirs, too. Learn to say ‘no’ when what they ask of you makes you uncomfortable or unhappy. You see, if they saw how it’s going to affect you, they wouldn’t be asking it from you in the first place. So saying ‘no’ may even jog them to clear thinking or stop them in their tracks and lead them to reevaluate things. Learn to say ‘no’ when you think that would lead to hurting others more. Sometimes what may seem harmless to you cuts deeper with somebody else’s heart. Learn to say ‘no’ when you don’t want to do it. Heck! You don’t want to do it-- period. Just be nice about it and honest! Learning to say ‘no’ is respecting 'you'—knowing yourself. Only you would know what you can give and what you can’t. You can give better with what you have and not with what you are without.

Set your sails to the wind yet anchor yourself on God. No matter how you look at it, God’s presence is in everything. I can’t imagine seeing something in which God didn’t form or create with His own hands. Yes, both the good and the seemingly ‘bad’. The latter may be hard to understand for some of us but seeing God’s hand in ‘misfortune’ can be understood with the heart, not with the mind. Everything happens for a reason. Although God gave us our minds, I think He operates on the level of our hearts. I have gone through the many storms in my life but I learned to anchor my heart on God. Strong furious winds buffeted my sails and huge waves rocked my ship but my anchor kept me safe and steady through it all. Whatever the name each of us may know Him to be, He still is the same one God who holds us individually and collectively, regardless of race, color, or creed, in His Holy able hands. I won’t have that any other way!

There's more flashing through the screen of my mind but then I think that I'd rather have a good tall glass of chilled lemonade right now. Btw, somebody once said that he had problems holding on to his 'ideas' 'perceptions' 'insights' losing them almost always to forgetfulness. I told him to jot it down in a 'writer's notebook'. It's not a diary or a journal, definitely not a blog. It's just a plain ordinary, maybe small notebook -- one which you can put inside your bag or pocket ready for your snippets of writing anytime anywhere. Handy to write down 'ideas' which come waltzing into your mind unexpectedly. Then when the right mood sets in, you can come back to it and pursue the Muses further. :-) Now then back to my cold lemonade! Bye for a bit.

PEOPLE ARE LIKE STAINED GLASS WINDOWS

Still – quiet – serene – calm…..just the right place to be to escape the hustle-and-bustle of the city. I took a long sweeping look from the left to the right taking in the walls and the dome over my head. It literally took my breath away – stained-glass windows – its colors heightened by the glow of sunset. Built atop a mountain this cathedral stands proudly in its old world charm attracting visitors from as far as the outskirts of the city -- a handsome structure which has stood the passing of time and inside its walls nothing less in beauty. The main altar stretched out to the dome ceiling with a masterpiece of art etched on its stained-glass wall. My gaze followed the intricate lines from the floor to the top and down again to the floor. Here a little to the side stood a long-legged candle-holder - its flame glistening softly from a candle held by a glass holder (yes, in stained-glass too) - a small unobtrusive presence in the midst of such towering magnificence. Speechless in the presence of such exquisite beauty indeed. Yet as all good things must come to an end, like coming to the end of a good show, a gentle curtain of extinguishing glow fell into the room. The sun was disappearing in the horizon. Light was snuffed out in all of the glass walls in a falling curtain of darkness except for one solitary lighted candle holder. Surprised I gasped in awe amazed at the sight of the beautiful play of light and colors from the stained-glass candle holder -- unremarkable just a few minutes ago but now a burst of luster unmatched by all the exquisite glass on the walls of the cathedral!

People – they come in different sizes, shapes, colors, temperaments, attitudes, in myriad colors of character and eccentricity, and personal histories. They touch our lives in many different ways when they cross paths with us. They sparkle and shine as life carries them through the many stations in their journey. Each come to interplay with various experiences which lead to a colorful display of emotions, wit, brilliance, expression, opinion, insight, belief, perception -- and on the opposite end bias, prejudice preconception, presumption, and more, These make up the whole person with whom we interconnect with day by day. Beautiful, isn’t it?

But true beauty -- where does it lie in a person? When fortunes turn sour, when failure looms high above you like a huge tidal wave, when the small irritations of the day gnaw at your calm and composure, when relationships disappoint, when dreams shatter, when debts soar, when spouses betray trust, when your own stable world is unhinged at the seams without warning, and when you are tittering on the edge of indecision –-- when all of these dark forces threaten to snuff out the light and brilliance of your day and of yourself, what do you do?

My mom summed it all up with how she lived her life. It was a life strewn with all conceivable trouble and distress. And looking back now I wonder just how God can sometimes be so unfair heaping up all the burdens on the shoulders of this small fragile gentle woman. Well, did she cry? Complain? Get mad? Get gloomy and depressed or bitter and resentful? Yes, all of that and yet all, too, were left at His feet in prayer. Then she carried on with her life where she was, with what she had. She rose with every fall, trudge on doggedly with courage and strength and faith renewed each time I wondered how. Through my child’s eyes I watched her drag her weary feet through the hills and valleys of a sparse life as she took on the role of raising a family. I saw her in my young child’s eye astoundingly as the most beautiful woman in the world. She is even long after she has gone. I see now and understand the wisdom of God’s outstanding work -- mothers and their unflagging spirit strength and faith!

This is true beauty – the beauty of the soul - beauty which shines even more brilliantly when darkness sets in. True beauty as revealed only when its light is from within.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in; their true beauty is revealed only if their light is from within.” ----- Elizabeth Kubler Ross

SOMETHING NEW TODAY - June 12 2009

This is going to be my new home for my writings. And I will be sprucing up the page in the next few days... create a welcoming place for learning -- for both writer and reader. Life is beautiful no matter what others may say. Packed within are experiences of wonder, awe, surprises, joy, laughter.. and oh a bit of sadness strife conflicts here and there. But it's all part of this thing called life, right? Joys and sorrows -- one can't live without the other. Experiences and lessons come from both. So then let's do what we can with it... enjoy the rainbows and too learn to dance in the rain. We'll see blessings better that way.

And perhaps be blessed with the bonus of meeting friends and wonderful people.

God bless!